Even better than magic beans...

I’ve been doing it all wrong.

According to an Ethan Allen commercial that I saw while I was watching ‘The Dish’ (which by the way, I’ve discovered I should NOT watch ‘The Dish’ or ‘The Soup’ and then immediately tune into CNN Headline News. I keep expecting snarky commentary to accompany it. And I’m not always as witty as Danielle Fishel in my own head.)

Anyway… according to Ethan Allen, all I need is, (and I quote): “that PERFECT piece of furniture… and the rest of the room will just fall into place…”

So, wait just a tic… are you telling me that ALL I have to do is buy a new piece of furniture? A new couch? Or a new coffee table? And the rest of the room will just take care of itself??

What about that giant stain on the family room carpet where Libby poured an entire bottle of maple syrup? Gone?

What about the cracked tile in front of the fireplace where a stocking hanger fell two Christmases ago? Gone?

What about the pictures of my kids from 5 years ago? Those are in serious need of an update.

How about the lumpy pillows I haven’t bothered replacing, and the window valances that I hung up, decided I hated, and have been too lazy to take down??

Maybe that’s why Ethan Allen is so expensive. Because, hello?? Clearly, they sell magical furniture.

Does it dust itself, as well?

If so, I’d better figure out how to explain the $147,000 worth of new furniture I’ll be charging.