This system sucks...

Okay, so I love to read. Always have… and I’m sure I always will. I minored in English in college, and while I got a bit burned out trying to constantly figure out the symbolism and deeper meanings in Toni Morrison’s works (not bashing Toni here... but I had a college professor that thought she was the second coming), I do love a good book (preferably fiction… I’m into escapism)

I also love to go to the bookstore and wander the aisles. And used bookstores? Loooove them even more. Which brings me to the topic of today’s post, ever so nicely. When I lived in Colorado, there was a great little book exchange that was just a couple of miles from my house. I would take in books, accumulate credits, and then pick out more books. I don’t think I ever spent more than just a few dollars each time because I was always bringing books back in. I loved this dark, dingy little bookstore, and was sad to leave it when we moved back to Texas.

Now, here in my newest stomping grounds, there is a little book store that is just down the road, and I’m not going to tell you what its called, but I will tell you that it rhymes with… um …uh… “Blue’s Nook Sex Change”. Well, silly me… I *thought* that Blue’s Nook Sex Change would have a similar system to my delightful little store in Colorado. My apologies if you know Blue, are related to Blue, or you just love her little Nook Sex Change, but personally I think her system SUCKS.

Here’s about how it works: Take in your books (or your nooks, whatever…), drop off said books for a ‘credit’, and pick out new books. Sounds simple, right? You couldn’t be more wrong. ‘Blue’ has a few caveats: It is a ‘book for book’ exchange… you can only use one credit for each book. And that ‘credit’ just entitles you to the privilege of paying slightly less than if you had no credits at all. No accumulating credits to put toward the purchase of a book. Oh, and let’s not forget the most important part!! You can not use your crappy little credit on any books that have a particular sticker dot on them (I think its orange?). Well, can I just tell you, there are orange dots as far as the eye can see in this damn store. So unless, I want to buy a Harlequin romance novel featuring some chick on the cover with her bodice ripped, draped across Fabio’s naked chest, I’m crap outta luck.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Staci, just go to the library if you’re such a freakin’ cheap skate’. Okay, well that’s really not the point. I like to buy books. I want to feel like they’re MINE while I’m reading them, and that if I smear chocolate on the pages while I have them, that’s okay. (Whaaat?! You’ve never had a good cry and a couple dozen Hershey’s Kisses over a great book?! You’re missing out…) Besides, the library keeps wanting me to pay those stupid fines.

So, I guess I’ll keep checking out the selection at Half-Price Books (even though it’s not as close), wandering the aisles at Barnes and Noble, and just consider the books I dropped off at “Blue’s” a donation to her little system. It’s the principle of the thing now, and I’m taking a stand. Just say ‘no’ to the Nook Sex Change!

"And now, a word from our sponsors..."

So, I have started noticing something very unusual about my blogs on my Myspace account. (Sorry if you’re reading this on Blogspot. Just try to follow along! ;)

After I post each one, a ‘Sponsored Link’ will often pop up next to the blog. I’m sure this is something that you all knew, but I’m a relative newbie at all this. And even more interesting is that it somehow ‘relates’ to the topic of my post. (Hmmmm… thinking…)

For example, when I blogged about ‘back to school’ and the homework the kids were getting, the sponsored link was “Be a Kindergarten Teacher” and a website linking you to an educational site. HOW do they do that? Is it a system that picks up on keywords in the blog and attaches a site to it? Or is there some pasty faced guy who hasn’t been outside his cubicle in this millennium, reading my blogs to decide the exact right website to assign to each individual post? If that is, in fact, the case… Hello! Sorry about the pasty-faced comment! I’m sure you’re a very attractive fellow! (Just covering all my bases.)

Normally, it wouldn’t bother me. When I published the post about reading bedtime stories to Libby, the link was “Publish a Children’s Book.” Absolutely! The world needs more children’s books. I can wholeheartedly support that. Seriously, we just don’t have ENOUGH books in my house that feature furry, precociously adorable animals. (rolling eyes)

However, my “Keep ‘em off the pole” blog generated this link: “Removable Dancing Poles.” Yes, my friends…a link to order your very own stripper pole. Check it out if you don’t believe me. You can order one of these puppies for your own bedroom! Who knew? YOU did? Oh, okay, sorry.

Heck, I forgot to even look to see who sponsored the blog I posted that was all about vomit. A carpet cleaning company, no doubt? (Wow! Aren’t you just dying now to go back and read all these posts about my incredibly glamorous life?!!)

So, in light of this little discovery, it makes me want to get a bit more creative. I’m tempted to have some fun with it and to begin posting things just to see what sites ‘sponsor’ my blogs. Can’t you picture it now? A blog about foot fungus? A post about a raging case of herpes? My obsession with Civil War memorabilia? Cooking with ketchup and lima beans?

So keep on reading, but don’t forget to check out the ‘Sponsored Link’ on the side. NO!! Don’t click on it!!

Dammit… lost another one.

"I love you, and I love you, and I love you..."

Alright, so this blog is just a 'shout-out' to my peeps. (Wow, I don't think I've ever sounded 'whiter' than I did right there.)

You know who you are... and *I* know who you are. My loyal fanbase (all 4 of you!) who not only read my blog, but are sweet enough to give me the awesome feedback through your comments and your emails, and the occasional reminder that I've skipped a couple of days. (Thank you, Jen... I love you, too!)

For my friends that read it to their hubbies, and my hubby who forces his co-workers to read it. For my pals that read it on my Blogspot, and those who check it out on my Myspace (nope- same blog... seriously... I have limited time in my day! Cut and paste is a good thing.)

Ya'll rock! Thanks for helping me find my voice... (sniff, sniff...)

;-)

Keep 'em off the pole...

Okay, so we know this friend of a friend (isn't that the way every good story starts?!), and I'd like to take a minute to share his parenting philosophy on raising daughters:

He says that as the parents of daughters, our job is to basically 'keep them off the pole'. That's right, my friends. This is actually his 'take' on parenting. That everything we do as parents either pushes them 'closer to the pole' or 'back from the pole'.

The 'pole' to which we're referring (if you're over 60 or live under a rock) would be a 'what'? Yes, a STRIPPER POLE.... ding! ding! ding! You guessed it.

Now, it starts with the name you give your child. Now, I'm not going to start a list of names here, at the risk of offending someone. But between these two names (completely hypothetical! jeez... don't go commenting on my blog) : 1. Anna Elizabeth OR 2. Crystaleene Rychelle... which of these moves your child closer to the pole?!! I think we can all figure out that little brain bender.

Every academic achievement or personal accomplishment? Why, that's 'one step away from the pole'. Pretty simple system, right?

Now, I gave both of my daughters very classic, beautiful names, so I felt like I was a good step ahead on this 'pole business'. That is, until this evening.

My own little Elizabeth loves to listen to music. And she loves to watch music videos on YouTube. She has her favorites, and she always requests them... "I wanna hear Gink in the Pink!" (Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz)

She is so cute, standing in front of the computer, dancing, singing along, we can't help but laugh at her. (plus she's the third child, so she gets extra points for 'adorableness'!) So, tonight, having finished dinner, Phil and I were cleaning up the kitchen, and she wanted some music to listen to. We'd eaten spaghetti, and knowing what a mess she usually makes, we'd taken off her shirt before unleashing her on her plate of pasta with sauce.

So after dinner, she moves a little stool to the computer so she can see better. And then... I swear to God... she says "I can dance better like this!" and totally drops her knickers. At this point, we have a completely naked 3 and a half year old, standing on her own personal little "stage', dancing.

I'm a little worried that might be one giant step closer to the pole. ;-)

Kickin' it into high gear...

I am noticing a pattern. A pattern to this school year thing. Now, you would think that I'd be pretty clued in, since I used to be a teacher, but I guess I've forgotten, having been out of the workforce for 8 years.

The first couple of weeks of school... a cake walk. There are no spelling words... there are no projects... there are no practices...
I guess this has been the adjustment period. 3 weeks is it.

Well.... no more! Now, keep in mind, I have a 1st grader and a 2nd grader... I KNOW that the older they get, the sooner they will get homework and projects, etc. But I wasn't prepared for this week. Time to get down to business.

Time for Brownies and Cub Scouts and piano lessons and baseball and dance and spelling homework and a timeline project and reading logs and field trips and 1st grade reading night..... yep... that's pretty much what the calendar looks like for the next week and a half. Not to mention Hairy Man Meetings (I'll explain later) and teaching classes and packing lunches and organizing playdates. (and doing laundry and cooking dinner and blah, blah, blah... no need to explain any of this to any of you mommies out there!)

Makes me miss summer just a little bit...

A bedtime story

Okay, so this is definitely officially a "mommy blog". When you're blogging about the book, "Good Night Moon", you lose quite the reader score, but since this blog is about my life, I will proceed.

Libby loves to read "Good Night Moon" (yes, I know its a book , so should technically be underlined and not in quotes, but I'm too lazy to figure out that feature! okay?!) When I say, she loves to read it, it means I've read it to her so many times that she now likes to 'read it' to me.

And oddly enough, it lasts waaaaaaaaaaaaay longer when she reads it. We must say goodnight to the mush a half dozen times. (My apologies if you've never had the privilege of reading this classic... eye roll...)

We spend quite a bit of time spotting that damn mouse as he cavorts all over the great green room, and commenting on how the mouse must live in the little house, how the little bunny wears those socks... (and those mittens! Well, at least he never catches a chill.) And of course we can't forget to say goodnight to "nobody".

And one thing I've never quite understood: in the last line, when the book says "Goodnight noises everywhere" does that mean we're saying goodnight to the noises... or that there ARE goodnight noises everywhere? Around here, it makes much more sense that there are the sounds of goodnight throughout the house. Which usually consist of "Get back in bed!!" and "But I just needed ONE more drink of water!!!"

So, God bless that kid's sweet little britches. We have read this book to the point that its practically falling apart. And just as I'm about to doze off myself, she'll slam the book shut with finality (hmm... guess that could contribute to its dilapidated condition!) and tells me "Goodnight, Mommy".

At which point, I pack up my red balloon... and tell her "Goodnight, Libby."

"With love..."

Yesterday on a routine trip to the mall, I had a flashback to the 80's. Not of the 'big hair' or parachute pants variety... nope... it was a 'Things Remembered' store.

Okay, so it wasn't 'technically' a 'Things Remembered'. It was a Fast Fix watch repair place that just so happens to do the machine engraving on all those cheap metal gifts. But within their humble little leased mall space, they had quite the assortment of things you could get engraved with your name or your monogram. And if you can't remember what your monogram looks like, they even have a special guide to help you remember that its the LAST initial that goes in the middle! (so helpful)

Now, I can clearly remember in high school, giving and receiving many an engraved 'item'. (heck maybe even in college... which would fast forward us to the early 90's...) But I'm not even sure that the 'Things Remembered' stores exist anymore. Does anyone get anything engraved anymore, besides jewelry? When was the last time you got a frame engraved with 'Friends Forever'? Or a ball point pen etched with the sentiment, "Congratulations"?

As I stood in line yesterday to pick up Phil's watch, I stood in awe at the plethora of 'cheese' that surrounded me (and a few cheese trays, too, I think!) There were the standard frames and pens, of course, but there were also a few other items that got me to thinking about possible gifts.

What about that flask? Engraved with "Good Luck at your AA meetings."

Or the mirrored compact? "At least you're pretty..."

There was even a 'mouse' (you know, for the keyboard), and a desk calculator. Both of which were coated in a silver substance that was so shiny it seared your retinas. But I guess that computer mouse would be a perfect little gift for that special guy in your life... you know, the one you met in the internet chat room? Have it engraved... "Thinking of you..."

Now that I think of it, the desk calculator might actually be a pretty handy gift. I'm considering getting one for Phil to use when he does the bills. I'll have it engraved to remind him how very much he loves me. Which should always be foremost in his mind just before he opens my credit card statement.