Lowered expectations

I guess this will teach me to open my big mouth.

Blog EVERY day in March? I'm not sure I've had a month where I've been less inclined to get on the computer!

I don't know why I think everything has to be an all or nothing for me. I tend to do things to the extreme. And if it can't be done to my specifications or standards... well, then why bother?!

My van, for example, is either incredibly tidy... or a total nightmare of a mess. Same with the laundry, and the house. There is no middle ground. Perhaps I should aim for something a bit more manageable. Just try doing everything in moderation.


For example... I will make an effort each day to only eat TWO of those mini Reese's peanut butter cups in the pretty pastel Easter wrapping.

You know, rather than half the bag. ;)

Home Alone

I have long loved that little imp, Kevin McAllister, from the movie, 'Home Alone'.

Long before I had kids of my own. Long before I discovered that it could potentially be all too easy to leave a 7 year old behind when you go on vacation.

Provided, that is, that the 7 year old is not at your elbow every third second, asking, "When are we leaving?"

"Are we leaving now?"

"Can I take my DS?"

"Can I have a snack before we leave?"

"Are we leaving now?!!"




Now that I think about it, maybe they didn't leave him 'Home Alone' by accident.

Anyway, we love the movie. We quote it... "Bring me back something French!" We have it on DVD, and as soon as the holiday season hits, it's on our movie rotation.

And this weekend, we finally watched the sequel, 'Home Alone 2... Lost in New York'.

Now, for this one, I really had to suspend my disbelief. Because, okay, I can understand losing your kid once. Heck, I think we're all allowed a freebie. But TWICE? The same kid?!

I mean, I guess they *do* have about 7 kids in this movie. But if I were going to lose any of them, it would probably be the oldest one, Buzz. Talk about a pain in the ass... Eddie Haskell style.

Keep Kevin around... that kid is resourceful. What kid do YOU know that can outwit two bad guys, not once, but twice? All with a little help from a blowtorch, some firecrackers, a few paint cans, an old black and white movie, and a pet tarantula.

In the sequel, Kevin once again rigs up a series of elaborate traps, aimed at catching Daniel Stern and Joe Peschi, the fumbling burglars, who are admittedly, not the sharpest knives in the drawer.

I have never questioned the wisdom in letting my kids watch it, but I guess I should have been alert to the gleam in my son's eyes...

The clicking of those little wheels turning in his brain...

The signs that we're venturing into the danger zone...

Proof positive that we won't be leaving him at home anytime soon.



Davis: Mom, when we get home, I think I want to set some traps.

Me: Oh really?

Davis (in all seriousness): Yeah. But I'll need a saw.

Me: Um... a saw?




Davis: Yeah. A chainsaw.

Cool beans!

There's nothing like a game of Hide and Seek.

I loved playing it when I was a kid and my kids love to play it, too. Finding the perfect hiding spot was always such a thrill, and it was a huge bonus when you could actually see and hear the person who was 'it', searching you out.

It was also a bonus to actually be able to breathe in your perfect hiding spot. Laundry hampers are terrible places to hide. Trust me.

Davis loves to jump out from his hiding spot when you least expect it, screaming, 'BOO!' Admittedly, not really in the spirit of the technical rules of hide and seek... which probably explains why the girls always appoint him to be "It". Because really... whose nerves can take that?

Mine certainly can't, and I'm not even in the game. But when I'm minding my own business, going into the pantry to get some flour to make that cake from scratch (well, okay, the box of cake mix), and some kid jumps out at me, yelling, 'BOO!'... well, I forget all about the flour (okay, cake mix). And I may have been known to scream. I may also have been known to get on the telephone to the perpetrator's father to ask him, 'When are you getting home?!! These kids are driving me crazy!'

I've also been known to forgo making the cake, in favor of making myself an early afternoon drink. Don't judge, people.

This last weekend, Libby had herself an A plus plus hiding spot, and the other two searched for her for almost 20 minutes with no success. In desperation, they started resorting to trickery, trying to lure her from her hiding place.

Josie: Liiiibbbbbby? Where are you?

Davis: We have CANDY!!

Josie: Come out for your candy!!

Then they start to whisper to each other...

Davis: Where is she?

Josie: I dunno.

Davis: Tell her we have some... um... beans!

Josie: Good idea... she loves beans.

(*sidenote: She does. That kid LOVES beans. Especially black beans.)

Josie (in a singsong voice): Come out! We have some BEANS for you! They're special beans!

Davis: They're MAGIC beans!

Josie: Yeah... they're delicious and they make you... fart unicorns!


Um... whaaaaat?!


But still, nothing. Libby knew she had them right where she wanted them. All their focus was on finding her. Finally, she had one over on them... the perfect hiding spot.

And my baby girl discovered the cardinal rule in hide and seek... never give up your hiding spot.



Not for candy.

Not for beans.



Not even for unicorns.




No fartin' way.

Oops.

Well, so much for that.

I think what I lack in follow-through, I more than make up for with my overall charm and delightfulness. ;)

Is it *really* only March 3rd?!

I am making a most diligent effort to blog every day in March. Yes, I said it. EVERY DAMN DAY!!

Now don't ask me what I'm going to do about posting when I'm in Port Aransas this weekend for a baton twirling competition. Only in Texas, my friends. (Note... MAJOR burglar alarms)

And... (Note: Yes, I said 'twirling'. I, myself, will not be twirling. I will leave that to my overly gifted child.)

So, even though I have a ton of ideas swirling around in my head for stories I want to tell you (really!) and even though it is currently 10:30 p.m. and I have been up all day, I just felt like I needed to get this blog out of the way.

Woohoo! March 3... three down, and and 28 to go.



I know that you're waiting with bated breath.


Right?






Right??!?

The Winter of my Discontent

Okay, not exactly ‘discontent’… more like the ‘winter of my hibernation’. Or ‘winter of my anti-social behavior’.

I’m not sure what it is about January and February, but they turn me into a total bear.

A lazy, hungry, grumpy bear on the verge of hibernating. I don’t want to socialize. All I want is to stay home in my warm house, wearing my elastic waistband pajama pants, my old Rocky Mountain Texas Exes t-shirt, and my hella-ugly socks. (I sure paint a pretty picture, don’t I?)

I want to drink hot cocoa, read books, snuggle with my kids and hubby on the couch while we watch movies, and … not do much of anything else.

After re-grouping from the holidays, we all want a little down-time, I guess. But I can definitely say that in the last several weeks, I have not ‘connected’ with the outside world. I have been hibernating.

I have rarely gone out with girlfriends. Lunches? Nada. Chatting on the phone? Not so much. I have ducked in and out of the back door at preschool, still wearing my workout grubbies, with my hair stuck under a baseball cap.

I’m not sure why. Is it the winter doldrums? Is it SAD (as in Seasonal Affective Disorder)? Do I need to buy myself a damn light box?

Strangely enough, though, winter doesn’t bum me out. Even though I know this is my natural tendency to hole up in my house, and not emerge until the spring thaw… it doesn’t bother me.

I guess because I know that this, too, shall pass. I’ll snap out of the winter funk, and finally be able to pack away those ugly-ass socks that have become my security blankie.

And sure enough, I woke up today… March 2nd … to beautiful, sunny (albeit still COLD) skies, and I felt like calling everyone in my address book to touch base. To say, “I’ve missed you” or “Let’s get together”, or “That was one b*tch of a winter, huh?”



So, check your voicemail. And let’s do lunch. ;)

On the borderline

I have a kid that is 'borderline' today.

Borderline sick.

You know how it is… not running a fever, not throwing up, but still not 100%. He has a nasty cough, and we’ve been nebbing him for the last 24 hours.

Not sure if something is in the air, or if it’s just a respiratory thing.

So, here is the question… school or no school? Today I made the decision that it was a ‘no school’ day for him, and sent his sister off to his class to tell his teacher and collect his work for this afternoon, anticipating a day of him napping and lazing on the couch. You know, since he ‘doesn’t feel good…’.

Mmhmm.

So far this morning (and it is currently 9:15 a.m.), I have already told him on three different occasions, “Well, you clearly feel okay since you…

1. are chasing your little sister around the kitchen table
2. keep nagging to play the Wii
3. ate 3 cinnamon rolls for breakfast (seriously. I *told* you the kid could eat.)


Go get dressed. I’m taking you to school.”

Funny how just saying that can bring on a severe coughing fit, tears, and flailing on the couch.

“BUT I’M SIIIICK!”

I want to remind him that he’s not *really* sick. He’s just borderline.



Much like my sanity today. ;)