The words to make faint every mother’s heart at this time of year:
D: “I’ve decided what I REALLY want for Christmas!!”
Me: “What?? We’ve already sent your list to Santa!”
D: “That’s okay. I know Santa will come through.”
Me: “But it is just three days until Christmas. Don’t you think that, um, Santa already… um… has his sleigh loaded??”
D: “According to all those movies we’ve been watching, that happens just before take-off, so no worries.” (Darn those movies running on a loop in the family room!!)
Me: “Weeeeelllll… let’s hear it.”
D: “The ONLY thing, and I mean the ONLY thing I want for Christmas…
...is every Lego set that’s ever been made that is part of a scene from Hoth.”
Me: “Oh, *that’s* all?”
(True story. Happened yesterday, in fact.)
Some requests are a little easier, just kind of random and out of the blue. You may remember that I posted that Libby had included toothpaste on her Christmas list. The very same child that once spent almost an entire week, toothbrush-less (and no… I had NO idea.) I only know now because when I cleaned out her little backpack that she’d packed to spend a weekend with her cousins, I found the toothbrush, still neatly packed in its little plastic case.
So, imagine my surprise to find toothpaste on her list. It is called ‘Orajel My Way’, and she saw it on a commercial, of course. The attraction? It comes with stickers you can put on the outside of the toothpaste pump. Revolutionary, right?
At this late hour, however, I’m wondering if I can just get by with a tube of Colgate and a leftover sheet of stickers from my stash of scrapbook supplies.
And just last night in the van on the way to the Zilker tree, another unexpected request:
L- “I need one of those hats.”
Me: “A hat? You have a hat.” (She had one on, in fact. A really cute, warm one that matched her little coat.)
L: No… one of those that goes over your face. And it has the holes? For your eyes? And your mouth? Then I could still see. And take a drink.
(silence)
Josie: “You want a SKI MASK??”
L- “Yeah. I need one.”
Well, I guess if Santa doesn’t deliver on the Hoth Lego sets, Davis can enlist his sister and her ski mask to knock off the nearest Target toy department.
At least she’ll have clean, shiny teeth in her mugshot.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Top 5 Reasons I am glad it is Christmas break:
5. No school... which means...
4. No homework! Yeah, yeah, I know my kids are all still in elementary school, so comparatively, they don’t have THAT much homework, but it is still an ever-present afternoon event (read: “necessary pain in the @$$”).
So, it is nice to have a bit of a break from spelling lists, projects, etc., and to not feel guilty about having Christmas movies running on a loop in the family room.
3. Time to decorate cookies, update blogs, play the Wii, finish up Christmas presents, build gingerbread houses, go to the Zilker tree, and rake the leaves.
Now, we haven’t actually *done* any of that (with the exception of the Wii), but we have TIME!
Which is currently being used to watch Christmas movies running on a loop in the family room.
2. I can get caught up on the pile of laundry.
Piles of unwashed laundry make me crazy. Piles of clean laundry make me even crazier. Yet ‘pile up’ it has, over the last week or so.
The clean laundry is in baskets in the laundry room… and on the floor of the laundry room…and on top of the dryer… and on the couches in the family room (you would think someone might fold a towel or two while watching Christmas movies running on a loop, am I right?).
The clean laundry piles are now interspersed with the kids’ backpacks and coats that are usually hung neatly on a pegboard in the laundry room, but were thrown onto the floor on Friday during the ‘Great Sugar Crash of 2011’, and have been all but abandoned.
Which brings me to the #1 reason I’m glad it is Christmas break…
1. When Libby ran through the family room yesterday, twirling something over her head, yelling, “Look what I found in my backpack when I was looking for my candy cane!”...
... the only people that were treated to seeing my black, lacy panties (that evidently had fallen out of a laundry basket and into her open backpack), were members of our family.
And not her entire first grade class.
4. No homework! Yeah, yeah, I know my kids are all still in elementary school, so comparatively, they don’t have THAT much homework, but it is still an ever-present afternoon event (read: “necessary pain in the @$$”).
So, it is nice to have a bit of a break from spelling lists, projects, etc., and to not feel guilty about having Christmas movies running on a loop in the family room.
3. Time to decorate cookies, update blogs, play the Wii, finish up Christmas presents, build gingerbread houses, go to the Zilker tree, and rake the leaves.
Now, we haven’t actually *done* any of that (with the exception of the Wii), but we have TIME!
Which is currently being used to watch Christmas movies running on a loop in the family room.
2. I can get caught up on the pile of laundry.
Piles of unwashed laundry make me crazy. Piles of clean laundry make me even crazier. Yet ‘pile up’ it has, over the last week or so.
The clean laundry is in baskets in the laundry room… and on the floor of the laundry room…and on top of the dryer… and on the couches in the family room (you would think someone might fold a towel or two while watching Christmas movies running on a loop, am I right?).
The clean laundry piles are now interspersed with the kids’ backpacks and coats that are usually hung neatly on a pegboard in the laundry room, but were thrown onto the floor on Friday during the ‘Great Sugar Crash of 2011’, and have been all but abandoned.
Which brings me to the #1 reason I’m glad it is Christmas break…
1. When Libby ran through the family room yesterday, twirling something over her head, yelling, “Look what I found in my backpack when I was looking for my candy cane!”...
... the only people that were treated to seeing my black, lacy panties (that evidently had fallen out of a laundry basket and into her open backpack), were members of our family.
And not her entire first grade class.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Happy birthday to my precious Libby Lu :)
This song has been on replay in my mind lately… ‘Blink’ by the contemporary Christian group, Revive.
A sampling of the lyrics:
I don't want to miss
Even just a second
more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it took to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time…
And here’s why:
My baby has a birthday tomorrow. I am now truly one of those moms that can say, “It seems like just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital!” Because that is how I feel. I’m trying to hold on tight, but time is flying at a rate I feel unequipped to handle.
My sweet baby is turning seven. Seven years that have passed in the blink of an eye.
A sampling of the lyrics:
I don't want to miss
Even just a second
more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it took to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time…
And here’s why:
My baby has a birthday tomorrow. I am now truly one of those moms that can say, “It seems like just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital!” Because that is how I feel. I’m trying to hold on tight, but time is flying at a rate I feel unequipped to handle.
My sweet baby is turning seven. Seven years that have passed in the blink of an eye.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Five for Sunday
Five for Sunday
1. okay, first and foremost, no more lame apologies about why this here blog isn’t getting updated more than once a month. I know that you know that I know we’re all bizzy people. Whatevs.
2. If you have been catching up on my life via my status updates (which really is all anyone has the time for these days anyway!), you already know that not only have I hit my weight goal (so long to those 35 pounds!), but that I’ve also been through training to become a leader for Weight Watchers. I’m learning so much… like to nod, and look thoughtful, mostly. Which I am learning is not as easy as it sounds.
Especially if you are like me, and you like to talk like I like to talk. And I like to talk. (Huge surprise, I know.) So, it will be a good thing.
3. The season is upon us… the season of ‘Elf’ and ‘Home Alone’, ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’, and glory Hallelujah, ‘A Christmas Story’. It’s time to get your ‘Ralphie’ on, friends… bunny suit and all.
4. Oh, and another season is upon us… deer season. And my nine year old son killed his first deer, and happiness abounded on Planet Linson. I have deer sausage in my freezer, and it is oh-so yummy. It tastes of spice, and my childhood. :)
5. Speaking of deer season, when we were in the van a couple of weeks ago (pre-dead-deer), and were lamenting about the lack of deer sausage in our freezer...
Libby: “Maybe a deer will just run out and we’ll hit it with our car!”
Phil: “Well, let’s hope not. Besides, you're not supposed to use that for meat anyway. It's illegal. Remember the rules from hunter education, Davis?”
Davis: “Yeah, you can’t use a deer for meat if it has been hit by a car.”
Josie: “I *totally* get why… it’s because of the 5 second rule, right??”
Um, yeah… that’s why. ;)
1. okay, first and foremost, no more lame apologies about why this here blog isn’t getting updated more than once a month. I know that you know that I know we’re all bizzy people. Whatevs.
2. If you have been catching up on my life via my status updates (which really is all anyone has the time for these days anyway!), you already know that not only have I hit my weight goal (so long to those 35 pounds!), but that I’ve also been through training to become a leader for Weight Watchers. I’m learning so much… like to nod, and look thoughtful, mostly. Which I am learning is not as easy as it sounds.
Especially if you are like me, and you like to talk like I like to talk. And I like to talk. (Huge surprise, I know.) So, it will be a good thing.
3. The season is upon us… the season of ‘Elf’ and ‘Home Alone’, ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’, and glory Hallelujah, ‘A Christmas Story’. It’s time to get your ‘Ralphie’ on, friends… bunny suit and all.
4. Oh, and another season is upon us… deer season. And my nine year old son killed his first deer, and happiness abounded on Planet Linson. I have deer sausage in my freezer, and it is oh-so yummy. It tastes of spice, and my childhood. :)
5. Speaking of deer season, when we were in the van a couple of weeks ago (pre-dead-deer), and were lamenting about the lack of deer sausage in our freezer...
Libby: “Maybe a deer will just run out and we’ll hit it with our car!”
Phil: “Well, let’s hope not. Besides, you're not supposed to use that for meat anyway. It's illegal. Remember the rules from hunter education, Davis?”
Davis: “Yeah, you can’t use a deer for meat if it has been hit by a car.”
Josie: “I *totally* get why… it’s because of the 5 second rule, right??”
Um, yeah… that’s why. ;)
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Dino from the Flintstones never looked so... well... happy?
It’s true. For the last month, I’ve forgotten that I have a blog. Actually, it wasn’t so much that I forgot… it was more that I have been a little busy with ‘Occupy Hobby Lobby’, ‘Occupy Kids’ school’, and ‘Occupy Weight Watchers’.
Short story… I am NEVER at home anymore. Between subbing at the kids’ schools, working on craft projects for the holidays, subbing, training for Weight Watchers, hitting my Director goals for Thirty-One, and SUBBING (can you tell I’ve been subbing a lot?!), I have not been keeping up with certain things.
And the blog? Well, it’s been pretty low on the priority list.
But I just had to share something that made me laugh out loud today, as I subbed in 2nd grade. One bonus of subbing for the younger grades is all the ‘gifts’ that those little darlings want to bestow on you. A substitute is such a novelty for little kids… “Someone new to tell my story about the cat that my dad accidentally ran over on the way to school! Someone new that I can ‘help’ with all the rules, and who doesn’t know that we’re really not supposed to color with the Sharpie markers !”.
As opposed to being a substitute for older grades, or God forbid, middle school… “Someone new that doesn’t know I’m NOT actually a foreign exchange student who claims to speak no English!” (oh, the things they try to get away with! ;)
Anyway, by now, I’ve subbed at the kids’ school often enough that most of the kids know me pretty well, and I walk out the door at the end of the day with a sampling of drawings and little notes. Today’s example, though, deserves its own special badge of honor. It was definitely one of those that makes you say…
“Wow, sweetie! That is so, um… just… WOW! Tell me all about it…”
Which just happens to be the code for either:
1. What the heck is this?
OR
2. ‘Am I looking at what I THINK I’m looking at???’)
In this case, it was code for the 2nd one.
“Mrs. Linson, it’s a DINOSAUR!”
Why, yes… it certainly appears to be. *cough, cough
Short story… I am NEVER at home anymore. Between subbing at the kids’ schools, working on craft projects for the holidays, subbing, training for Weight Watchers, hitting my Director goals for Thirty-One, and SUBBING (can you tell I’ve been subbing a lot?!), I have not been keeping up with certain things.
And the blog? Well, it’s been pretty low on the priority list.
But I just had to share something that made me laugh out loud today, as I subbed in 2nd grade. One bonus of subbing for the younger grades is all the ‘gifts’ that those little darlings want to bestow on you. A substitute is such a novelty for little kids… “Someone new to tell my story about the cat that my dad accidentally ran over on the way to school! Someone new that I can ‘help’ with all the rules, and who doesn’t know that we’re really not supposed to color with the Sharpie markers !”.
As opposed to being a substitute for older grades, or God forbid, middle school… “Someone new that doesn’t know I’m NOT actually a foreign exchange student who claims to speak no English!” (oh, the things they try to get away with! ;)
Anyway, by now, I’ve subbed at the kids’ school often enough that most of the kids know me pretty well, and I walk out the door at the end of the day with a sampling of drawings and little notes. Today’s example, though, deserves its own special badge of honor. It was definitely one of those that makes you say…
“Wow, sweetie! That is so, um… just… WOW! Tell me all about it…”
Which just happens to be the code for either:
1. What the heck is this?
OR
2. ‘Am I looking at what I THINK I’m looking at???’)
In this case, it was code for the 2nd one.
“Mrs. Linson, it’s a DINOSAUR!”
Why, yes… it certainly appears to be. *cough, cough
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
A very merry Christmas in September
I’ve already started my Christmas shopping.
Now, don’t be a hater… I wasn’t *going* to do any shopping yet, but when you find the perfect gifts for the perfect people, it’s hard to not just jump right in with both jingle bells, waving your Mastercard around, yelling, “I’ve got to get me one of those!! Or maybe even THREE!”
And honestly, they don’t mind you doing that in TJMaxx. It’s encouraged, even.
So, I wasn’t *going* to do any shopping yet, but when this little gem arrived in my mailbox, I was a goner.
I do so love getting catalogs in the mail, but I usually am pinching pennies, which makes my catalog perusal exactly that… more of a perusal, and less of a purchasing expedition. But everything in this catalog is TOTALLY in my price range! Which just happens to be somewhere between free, and ‘how well do I like this person’? I usually lean a little closer to the ‘free’ end of the spectrum.
And this catalog? Well, this catalog is the perfect marriage of Lillian Vernon meets SkyMall meets Home Shopping Network. This would be THE catalog that Lillian Vernon would conceptualize when flipping through a SkyMall mag whilst on a plane to the Home Shopping Network studio.
So, with Mastercard in hand, I’ve hammered out a couple of gifts for the most *special* people in my life. And I mean that in the *special-ist* way possible.
First and foremost, I’m totally getting this candle for my mother.
She likes Paula Deen… she likes candles. And I have a sneaking suspicion that this candle probably smells like butter. Or bacon. Or white-haired old lady.
This candle makes me want to talk with a Southern accent, use an alarming amount of butter in recipes, and narrate to an imaginary audience exactly what I’m doing every time I toast a piece of bread. It’s a ‘must-have’ for every white-haired old lady in YOUR life. (I kid, Mother.)
And for my MIL (mother-in-law)? Well, she enjoys a glass of wine every now and again, and I just knew that she would love to visit with The King while imbibing.
The King of Rock & Roll, of course, not to be confused with the King of Pop. I’m not 100% sure she’d know who the King of Pop is (was), and would wonder why there was a picture of an ugly white girl with sunglasses and an unfortunate nose job on her Christmas present.
These glasses are divine, though, and feature the King in his glory days.
Of course, I can’t help but think that the fat, bloated Elvis in his later years might be more appropriate on wine glasses, but I guess nobody wants a cautionary tale when they’re having a cocktail. Which explains why there are no Lindsay Lohan wineglasses. Not that my MIL would know who that is either.
But the clincher? The item that made this catalog my automatic ‘One Stop Shop’ for All Things Crap… er… Unique?
For my darling husband:
I KNOW!! I couldn’t believe it either! The style…
the flair…
the complete abandonment of self-esteem and total indifference for one’s appearance.
I mean… um… the COMFORT!
(oh, and click on the picture to get a better look. Because, really, why *wouldn't* you??)
I simply couldn’t choose between the dark wash (with realistic patches and boxers showing at the waist! Even gangstas want to be comfy in their jammies from time to time)...
... and the acid wash (BTW, 1987 wants their Pajama Jean back.) But at the oh-so-reasonable price of $12.95, I can afford to get both pair!
It was a happy day on Planet Linson when I realized my hard-working husband wouldn’t have to sacrifice comfort to look...well, to look completely disheveled in what looks like jeans from back in his college days when he worked in an aviary, and was attacked by a giant African crane (a whole other blog).
Now, I know what you’re thinking… where can I find that catalog?? Well, I’m pretty sure I included the website on a couple of my pictures because I really have an eye for detail. And a compulsive laziness in regards to cropping and/ or Photoshopping pictures for my blog.
So there is a very good chance that you will go there, and find the perfect gifts for your loved ones. One can never have too many “Jingle Jitters Latte Candles”, “ShotGun Shell Shot Glasses”, or “Glow-in-the-Dark Balls” (not kidding.)
I was going to include pictures of each of those, as well, but did I mention my compulsive laziness? So, yeah.
What I wouldn’t do to have one of each and every thing from the Lakeside Collection. Well, one of every item, save one.
If you get the urge to do a little shopping for ME?
Well, skip the jellybeans, and just send the booze.
Thanks, and Merry Christmas in advance! :)
Now, don’t be a hater… I wasn’t *going* to do any shopping yet, but when you find the perfect gifts for the perfect people, it’s hard to not just jump right in with both jingle bells, waving your Mastercard around, yelling, “I’ve got to get me one of those!! Or maybe even THREE!”
And honestly, they don’t mind you doing that in TJMaxx. It’s encouraged, even.
So, I wasn’t *going* to do any shopping yet, but when this little gem arrived in my mailbox, I was a goner.
I do so love getting catalogs in the mail, but I usually am pinching pennies, which makes my catalog perusal exactly that… more of a perusal, and less of a purchasing expedition. But everything in this catalog is TOTALLY in my price range! Which just happens to be somewhere between free, and ‘how well do I like this person’? I usually lean a little closer to the ‘free’ end of the spectrum.
And this catalog? Well, this catalog is the perfect marriage of Lillian Vernon meets SkyMall meets Home Shopping Network. This would be THE catalog that Lillian Vernon would conceptualize when flipping through a SkyMall mag whilst on a plane to the Home Shopping Network studio.
So, with Mastercard in hand, I’ve hammered out a couple of gifts for the most *special* people in my life. And I mean that in the *special-ist* way possible.
First and foremost, I’m totally getting this candle for my mother.
She likes Paula Deen… she likes candles. And I have a sneaking suspicion that this candle probably smells like butter. Or bacon. Or white-haired old lady.
This candle makes me want to talk with a Southern accent, use an alarming amount of butter in recipes, and narrate to an imaginary audience exactly what I’m doing every time I toast a piece of bread. It’s a ‘must-have’ for every white-haired old lady in YOUR life. (I kid, Mother.)
And for my MIL (mother-in-law)? Well, she enjoys a glass of wine every now and again, and I just knew that she would love to visit with The King while imbibing.
The King of Rock & Roll, of course, not to be confused with the King of Pop. I’m not 100% sure she’d know who the King of Pop is (was), and would wonder why there was a picture of an ugly white girl with sunglasses and an unfortunate nose job on her Christmas present.
These glasses are divine, though, and feature the King in his glory days.
Of course, I can’t help but think that the fat, bloated Elvis in his later years might be more appropriate on wine glasses, but I guess nobody wants a cautionary tale when they’re having a cocktail. Which explains why there are no Lindsay Lohan wineglasses. Not that my MIL would know who that is either.
But the clincher? The item that made this catalog my automatic ‘One Stop Shop’ for All Things Crap… er… Unique?
For my darling husband:
I KNOW!! I couldn’t believe it either! The style…
the flair…
the complete abandonment of self-esteem and total indifference for one’s appearance.
I mean… um… the COMFORT!
(oh, and click on the picture to get a better look. Because, really, why *wouldn't* you??)
I simply couldn’t choose between the dark wash (with realistic patches and boxers showing at the waist! Even gangstas want to be comfy in their jammies from time to time)...
... and the acid wash (BTW, 1987 wants their Pajama Jean back.) But at the oh-so-reasonable price of $12.95, I can afford to get both pair!
It was a happy day on Planet Linson when I realized my hard-working husband wouldn’t have to sacrifice comfort to look...well, to look completely disheveled in what looks like jeans from back in his college days when he worked in an aviary, and was attacked by a giant African crane (a whole other blog).
Now, I know what you’re thinking… where can I find that catalog?? Well, I’m pretty sure I included the website on a couple of my pictures because I really have an eye for detail. And a compulsive laziness in regards to cropping and/ or Photoshopping pictures for my blog.
So there is a very good chance that you will go there, and find the perfect gifts for your loved ones. One can never have too many “Jingle Jitters Latte Candles”, “ShotGun Shell Shot Glasses”, or “Glow-in-the-Dark Balls” (not kidding.)
I was going to include pictures of each of those, as well, but did I mention my compulsive laziness? So, yeah.
What I wouldn’t do to have one of each and every thing from the Lakeside Collection. Well, one of every item, save one.
If you get the urge to do a little shopping for ME?
Well, skip the jellybeans, and just send the booze.
Thanks, and Merry Christmas in advance! :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Oh, you have no idea.
Yesterday I took my van in to have the drop-down DVD player repaired.
It stopped working a few months ago, but I haven’t had a chance to take it in because I couldn’t be without my vehicle during the summer. The logistics of three kids, dropping off the van, switching the seats into Phil’s car, etc. was just too much to handle in this heat. So no DVD player in the car all summer. No biggie.
It’s not like we really went anywhere that was far enough away to allow even one movie to play all the way through, anyway.
Not my point.
Point is, kids are finally back in school (yay!), we are headed to Dallas for the weekend, and I was looking forward to a nice, quiet drive with the kids wearing their headphones, immersed in a movie they’ve seen 50 times, but shush each other throughout like it’s a first-run premiere.
So, I took the van in to have it repaired/ replaced/ basically whatever the warranty covers.
And the tech was a very nice guy. Nice enough to write down the stations that my radio was set to so he could re-set them after they worked on the system. Nice enough to offer to run my receipt up to customer service to check out the warranty, since I seemed like I was in a hurry.
Nice enough to checkmark the box for the ‘Interior of the Vehicle’ as:
HEAVY WEAR & TEAR.
Whaaaat?? That’s not very nice. :(
I mean, I know my van’s not the cleanest mini-van on the planet (Planet Linson or otherwise.) But HEAVY wear and tear? On a vehicle that I’m still 5 months away from owning outright??
NORMAL wear and tear, yes, I get that. I mean, I have been known to let them eat in the car from time to time.
And there was that time I let them eat their McDonald’s ice cream cones in the van because I saw that guy sitting in the booth next to us, rocking back and forth, eyes squeezed shut, murmuring, ‘Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!’, and clutching his backpack to his chest. That seemed like a good opportunity to just grab our cones, and enjoy them on our drive home.
And we MAY have had a Sonic slushy or two spill out on the seats. And there *is* a red gummy bear ground into the back of the seat that we’ve never been able to fully get out. But it’s covered by a carseat… there was no way he could have seen that!
Anyway, I peeked over his shoulder as he filled out the form, checking off HEAVY WEAR & TEAR.
The only place to go from here is the box marked: COMPLETELY PIGGISH CONDITION.
He saw me watching him. He must have noticed my stricken look because he shrugged and said, “I just have to finish up the paperwork. Don’t worry, I’ve seen a lot worse. Kids can really do a number on a car.”
I just sighed and nodded.
But what I really wanted to say was, “You should see what they can do to a uterus.”
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