Overheated...

I am ready for cooler weather. Which I know makes me exactly like every other person in our great state, but I simply cannot take it anymore.

A short list of things that I am sick of: (yeah, yeah... I know that's not proper English, but I'm too hot to care.)


1. Swimsuits and beach towels. Or to be more precise, WASHING swimsuits and beach towels.


2. An electric bill the likes of which is approximately the GNP of a small Latin American country.


3.The latch to open the back of my van. It likes to melt in temps over 95 degrees, and when it melts, it is sticky and I get black goo all over my fingers when I try to open it. And the idiot service people at Toyota don’t really think its an issue, and that it’s certainly not covered by warranty, and that I should pay for it out-of-pocket. Damn bloodsuckers.


4. Oh, and I’m sick to death of mosquitoes. And how much they resemble Toyota service managers.


5. That it is too hot to snuggle up with my boyfriend. And that I end up shoving him over to the middle of the bed during the night. Which makes my husband much less amenable to sharing the bed with my boyfriend*. (Try to wrap your head around that one, why doncha’?)


6. Sunscreen. The smell of it… the mess it makes in my swim bag because everyone was way too eager to just jump in the water, and a little inconvenience like CLOSING THE CAP was clearly negotiable.


7. Boob sweat. Now don’t go acting all surprised or offended, girls. We’ve all had that same little trickly feeling. And I *know* we Southern girls are supposed to GLOW… but if you’re glowing, instead of full-on sweating, then clearly you haven’t spent an August day at Sea World in San Antonio.


8. It’s too hot outside to want to do anything other than watch television or play video games. Which we did more than our fair share of this summer. So much so that I suspect the kids believe that ‘WE’ is actually spelled ‘Wii’…


...you know, as in “Wii went to the Toyota service department again today. And Mommy went all ‘Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?’ on those stupid mosquitoes.




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*'boyfriend'= body pillow (just thought I'd clear that up ;)