An open letter to the Husbands of the world:

Dear Husbands,

If your wife suggests going for a walk after dinner for some ‘together time’, and to get in some exercise, and you agree… well, that is considered super-supportive, and she will appreciate you for taking the time.  I can certainly recommend that.

If your wife proceeds to walk at breakneck speed in order to avoid crazy-scary, West Nile mosquitoes, and you manage to keep up with her short little legs, she should be verbally commended for keeping your heartrate up, while protecting you from a dread disease.  That is considered encouraging, and I can completely get behind that.

If she does not want to carry the water bottle, but still wants to drink from it, you should definitely just smile and hand it over at every 5 minute interval, when she is parched from the insane power-walking session.  That  is considered helpful, and she will be forever grateful that you are concerned about her level of hydration.  I would call that a ‘go-to plan’.

And if after mentioning that even though she knows INTELLECTUALY that the bats swooping around under the streetlights are HELPFUL to the environment, that she is still secretly creeped out just a little? 

Well, I do NOT recommend immediately flapping your hand in the hair on the back of her head.  That is considered infantile, and she will probably scream loudly and you will end up having to jog after her as she runs home in the dark.

I just thought you should know.

Conversation Killers

1.        A conversation that I was not prepared to have:

My son mentioned at dinner tonight that he was so hopeful that I would have another baby.  I, in turn, let him know that that was not going to happen. 

Trust me, we’ve had this conversation before (in terms of:  ‘our family is finished’, etc., etc.), but  tonight he said that even though we’ve told him that, he has always really hoped and prayed that God would surprise us with another baby.  At this point, in order to save him from further disappointment, I finally just had to tell him that the doctors had ‘fixed it’ so that Mommy & Daddy wouldn’t have babies anymore.  And then I held my breath, ready for the QUESTIONS. 

He seemed pretty bummed, but recovered quickly. 

“So can we get a dog??” 

2.       A conversation my oldest child was not prepared to have: 

When a kid asked her in front of God and everybody...

 “So, do you have periods?” 

Um… wow. 

My poor kid looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights, and then back to the younger girl, and then back to me, completely tongue-tied.

  At which point, the little girl said... “You know, now that you’re in middle school, do you have,  like, Math for first period?” 

;)

Top 5 Reasons I'm BACK! (jazz hands here...)

I thought that it might be time to get back to the old blog when I realized a few things:

1.  It has officially been more than two months since I have visited Planet Linson.  I used to love this place, but the dust is about an inch thick around here. 
Which makes Planet Linson (the virtual location) almost EXACTLY like Planet Linson, the actual location.



2.  I forgot my password.  And the answer to my security question.  So help me, I could not remember my first pet's maiden name or the street on which he lived.




3.  I have a daily conversation with my fourth-graders about the importance of writing, and how vital it is, and how it is not just a 7:45 to 2:45 skill, and why at least a few times a week, I expect them to do a 'Night Write'. 

And I totally got sick of feeling like a hypocrite. 




4.  That I just updated my weekly TeacherWeb, and it was longer than any normal human parent will actually read.  I should put something at the end that is a test, like... "If you have read this far, you have just won a fabulous prize!" 

Only then, I'd have to actually think of and provide some sort of semi-fabulous prize, and these days,  I'm all like, "Did I forget to bring a lunch?  Why, yes, I did.  Again."



5.  I've missed having this creative outlet.  As busy as my 'new normal' is, I still love to hear friends comment on how much they like reading my blog (and how they've missed it.  Thanks for not giving up on me ;)






---- Oh, and if you've read this far, you win a prize.

To claim it, meet me at my classroom tomorrow.  And please bring me my lunch.