No, you didn’t misread the title. I have a boyfriend.
He’s been part of my life for the last 9 years. I love him, and even though I love my husband dearly, my boyfriend is the one I want to snuggle with at night.
Phil absolutely hates my boyfriend, and wishes that I would get rid of him for good. Oh yes, Phil knows all about my boyfriend. In fact, he was the one who first introduced us. My guess is that he seriously regrets that day.
My boyfriend doesn’t do much. He lays around a lot, and occasionally I throw him in the washing machine.
That’s right, my friends. My ‘boyfriend’ is a body pillow that I sleep with every night. Phil bought it for me when I was pregnant with Josie, and shortly thereafter, gave it the nickname of ‘your boyfriend’ because I became so attached to it. In my defense…all you girls know how hard it is to get comfortable when you’re pregnant, and that our multitude of pillows becomes our very best friend. Otherwise, how the hell are we supposed to NOT roll onto our backs in the middle of the night? (And if it’s your first pregnancy, God forbid you wake up in the middle of the night, lying on your back. You become convinced that you’ve done irreparable damage to your little snookums by depriving them of oxygen for an indeterminate length of time.)
Anyway, as many husbands will do during the FIRST pregnancy, my husband busted his butt trying to keep me happy during my trimesters: making runs to the Dairy Queen around the corner for M&M Blizzards, painting the nursery (and installing chair rail…wow), giving up drinking any alcohol for 9 months (awww, so sweet!), and buying me a luxuriously comfy, fluffy, body pillow to help me get comfortable at night. Just a friendly FYI for any mommies that only have one child right now… in subsequent pregnancies, you get the leftover half of a milkshake, ‘stick-on’ decals for the nursery walls, and the chance to watch your hubby drink a delicious, ice cold beer with his barbecue.
Fast forward to present day… I still have my pillow. It’s my woobie (don’t mind the reference to the awesome 80’s movie, ‘Mr. Mom’). I have a hard time sleeping without it. I even take it on vacation with me.
It has seen me through 3 pregnancies, been a comfy spot for nursing my babies in the middle of the night, been through hundreds of washes, and is definitely less than luxurious now. Heck, it’s not even fluffy anymore. Phil swears that it takes up more than its fair share of the bed, and that one day my ‘boyfriend’ is just going to mysteriously disappear.
It will be a real shame the day I have to start hiding my boyfriend from my husband. ;)
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