Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Anatomy of the last day of school:

-Get the kids up and off to school.
-Notice that other than the first day of school, this is the only time you haven’t had to argue with them to get out the door on time.

-Head to the elementary school at 7:50 a.m. for the first grade party.
-Circle the school looking for a parking space. Twice.
-Arrive and set up the ‘ocean’ habitat stations.
-Blow up the plastic palm tree, and artfully arrange the pirate treasure chest, sand, and seashells on the tables.
-Listen as the mother that brought the palm tree promises Libby that she can keep the plastic palm tree ‘for her very own’.
-Resist the urge to glare at the nice lady.
-Make ‘pop-up’ shark cards with approximately 2,000 first graders. Wonder if they are cloning more children to send out to your station.
-Tell your child not to pick the tomato from the tomato plant in the class garden.
-Step on blue Jell-o from the ‘ocean snack station’. Notice how nicely Jell-o squishes between your toes when you’re wearing flip-flops.
-Hide the tomato that your child picked in your purse. *Sigh.
-Promise Libby that she can keep the plastic palm tree in her room.

-Deliver teacher gifts that were painstakingly handmade. Think that next year it’s gift cards all around.

-Drop Libby off at preschool for her last day.
-Feel relieved that her party was last week, and that today it is basically a babysitting service so that you can run around like a chicken with your head cut off at the elementary school.
-Assure Libby that her palm tree will be waiting in her room when she gets home.

-Run home to put finishing touches on the 'last day of school' cake. Wonder why you have started all these crazy, time-consuming traditions.
-Marvel at how cute the cake actually turned out.
-Take pictures for blog. ;)
-Gulp down a quick lunch and three ibuprofen. Realize that all you really want is a nap.
-Remember to put the plastic palm tree in Libby’s room.

-Head back to school for the 2nd grade party.
-Find a parking spot more easily this time. Wonder if all the smart parents decided to take the afternoon off.
-Pass out chips, candy & soda for snack during their afternoon movie. Hope that the wellness teacher doesn’t pass by and make any commentary.
-Repeat the following phrase ad nauseum: “Guys, the line starts back there.”
-Mop up spilled water from the coolers to prevent any last day of school ER visits.
-When Libby arrives at school with a friend, tell her again that her palm tree is in her room.

-Take Libby home and put her down for a quick nap. After twenty minutes, check on her in her bed.
-Blow up the plastic palm tree. Again.
-Regret not ‘losing’ the palm tree on the way home.

-Pick up two cranky, sugar-buzzed children from school.
-Be prepared to respond appropriately for the rest of the day to the question: “Mommy, do you know what grade I’m in?!”
-Put backpacks in the laundry room and close the door. Decide that ‘backpack detail’ can wait until tomorrow.

-Realize that it is officially ‘summer’.
-Look around at your reasonably tidy home. Know that it may be the last time it will look this good.
-Listen to the whining start approximately 3 and a half minutes later from the two older kids...
“Why does Libby get to have a palm tree in her room?!! Not fair!”


Anonymous said...

looks like you picked the wrong week to stop drinking diet coke!

Laurie K said...


(And smile because you know that you'll have one year before you do this all over again)

jen said...

It just makes your weekend that much better!!! See you tomorrow!!!!


ps. seriously you are giving up Diet Coke AGAIN!!!

Veronica said...

Seriously. Where are you, Mrs. Linson? I need a post. Going through hilarity withdrawals!!!