Up in the air...

For the last two days, I have been scouring the weather reports and the allergy forecasts to try to figure out what the *$%#* is in the air.

Mold? Low…
Cedar? Low…

Annoying mystery allergen that is causing me to sneeze so hard that I practically tinkle in my panties every dang time? Extremely high…

My nose is red and raw, my bedroom floor is littered with Kleenex, and I am sleeping terribly because I can’t breathe. When I mentioned this to Phil…

…”Well, you *must* have been sleeping last night because you were snoring.”

Me (rather defensively, I guess): I COULDN’T BREATHE!



The daytime Sudafed makes me jittery, but Benadryl makes me a drooling, incoherent mess, unable to drive a car, make a bed, or make dinner.
Actually that doesn’t sound too bad. I will expect someone to slip me a Mickey… er… a ‘Benny’ tonight.

I *swear* that I never had allergies as a kid, growing up in our great state. It wasn't until I became an adult, moved away and then CAME BACK... that the allergies were here to welcome me with open arms.

Cedar: Welcome home. (and for some reason, Cedar has a french accent. I've never quite figured out why.) We've never had the chance to be properly introduced, but from now on... you will be mine.

Me (in a cocky, condescending tone I would later regret): Oh, I've never had allergies, and I grew up in Central Texas. Cedar, I think you must have the wrong person.

(**This was an actual conversation. And for the record, Mountain Cedar sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal from 'Brokeback Mountain'. And Mold? Well, she's Cruella DeVille. Either that, or I've taken too much Sudafed again.)


My only consolation? Even if I can't figure out what is in the air... on Thursday, *I* will be in the air. I am leaving for Colorado. On a plane. Leaving these allergies on Texas turf.

Hasta la vista, you nasty little spores. We'll meet again at ABIA (um... Austin Bergstom International Airport, people!) on Sunday for our not so happy reunion.

Just me... Frenchie, Jake, and Cruella.