Health Schmealth...

Let me just preface by saying… I think P.E. is great for kids. I’m hearing more and more about the high levels of obesity in kids these days, and I say, more power to the P.E. teachers! They have a tough job of it…

P.E. (or ‘Wellness’ as it’s called at my kids’ school) is much more these days than a few scooter board races across the cafeteria (loooooved those when I was a kid!) or dodgeball or a game of ‘Red Rover’, both of which are no longer played at elementary schools…something about ‘balls to the head’ or some such thing. I couldn’t tell exactly… the hearing in my left ear is a little bad, due to an unfortunate dodgeball incident in the 4th grade. Wusses.

Anyway, physical education these days is all about personal wellness, nutrition and healthy lifestyles. That’s awesome. No, really. I just sometimes wish my kids’ wellness teachers weren’t so dang good at their jobs.

This morning, for instance, we were in a rush (okay, not just this morning, I admit… you people know me too well.) So instead of cereal or pancakes or breakfast tacos for breakfast (my 3 kids are breakfast taco junkies), it was a ‘grab and go’ breakfast. A banana and a granola bar.

Davis: Mom, I didn’t want this! (… already hitting a whining level that is intolerable for 7:15 a.m.)

Me: Eat it… it’s a granola bar. It’s healthy.

Davis (eyes narrowing in suspicion): There are chocolate chips in it.

Me: Well, um, they’re low calorie chocolate chips. Just eat it, we’re late!

Davis: The whole thing is covered in chocolate. I need to check the side of the box for sugar grams.

Me (hiding the box behind my back)…

Um, seriously?!!

Now, don’t get me wrong… I truly appreciate the hard working teachers that give it their best, trying to teach my kids all about ‘Go’ foods, ‘Slow’ foods, and ‘Whoa’ foods, teaching them to read labels, and to check for fat and sugar grams. Really, I do.

But when Josie came home from kindergarten and hid the salt shaker because her wellness teacher had told her that salt is bad for you… I was a teensy bit irritated, I admit. I reassured Josie that we only cook with it, and don’t add it to our food after it is cooked, at which point, she retrieved the salt for me. At which point, I made myself a margarita. With salt.

So, let me take this opportunity to say, “Good job, P.E. teachers! I appreciate your hard work. I appreciate your effort. I appreciate you helping my kids to work toward a healthy lifestyle…

And I’d appreciate if you’d stop telling them your ‘opinions’ about Diet Coke. Thank you very much.” ;)