Pilgrim's Progress

Let’s just put it right out there.

I rock as a mom.

I almost never forget to pick my kids up at school. I only slightly embarrass them with my blog. And when I yell at them to pick up their shoes, I do it in the most loving way possible.

I mean, I’m just sayin’.

Plus, when I help them with a school project, everything else in the house comes to a dead standstill. Dinner goes unmade. Laundry goes unfolded (and possibly souring in the washing machine). My blog goes unwritten (tragic, I know.) I don’t answer the phone. And that little kid that came over for a playdate? Well, honey, welcome to the Linson house, and find yourself a juice box in the fridge because I’m on project duty.

That’s right. I’m JUST that dedicated.

This week’s project? A pilgrim. And not just your garden variety pilgrim with the little starched white collar and black hat. Nope. This pilgrim had to represent the country of your ancestors. Dressed in traditional costume.

Oh, and did I mention that the pilgrim was to be crafted using…. wait for it…

A wooden clothespin?

I know, right? What the hell? How in the heck is a second grader expected to make clothes for an old-fashioned wooden clothespin? Paper? Felt? The label peeled from an empty Bailey’s Irish Crème bottle? (In my defense, it was practically empty before we got the assignment, and I just needed to finish it off. It’s my heritage, people.)

But Josie did Ireland last year for *her* pilgrim project. And after trying in vain to convince my boy that he REALLY, REALLY wanted to turn in a little Irish girl pilgrim as his project (he was having none of it), we decided to focus on Germany.

So, we were off… I sent Davis upstairs to find an old pair of khaki or olive colored shorts, so that we might fashion some lederhosen for the little guy, by cutting out a section of the fabric. He came back downstairs with the new khaki pants I’d just bought for him at Old Navy, making me very glad that I had not sent him on his mission with a pair of scissors in hand.

A piece of fabric from an old t-shirt made his shirt (and yes, Mother, I *did* have to use old clothes!) *Sidenote: My mother is shaking her head right now, reading this, because she simply cannot believe that I didn’t have any pieces of fabric in my house that I could potentially use as pilgrim clothing, as her craft room houses fabric that she bought back in the dark ages when she used to drag me to every Winn’s store in the capital city.

We made him a little hat, complete with a bird feather that Davis found in the backyard (let’s not get into a discussion of how dirty bird feathers are. Desperate times, people. Besides I gave it a visual scan for lice. I *told* you I was a good mom.)

Some green glitter on his lederhosen… and here is our German pilgrim:


If I thought it wouldn’t affect my… um… I mean *his* grade, I’d even glue a little beer bottle in his hand.

Because I’m *just* that kind of a mother.