Yet another thing television has ruined for me...

Flipping channels this evening, I stumbled on the show, “While the Children Sleep”. I thought to myself, “Self, pay attention! We could use some new ideas!” (because I do occasionally address myself as ‘Self’. Why yes, I do.)

So far most of my things to do “while the children sleep” include: folding laundry, drinking wine, and hanging out with the hubster. Oh, and of course, we can’t forget: going to bed early. Because while those children *do* sleep, they also wake up at the @$$-crack of dawn.

But turns out this is a movie about a live-in babysitter who concocts a plan to ‘off’ the mother of the children. Whaaaaaat?? Why? Well, I admit… I didn’t actually watch very much of it after I figured out that it wasn’t a ‘how-to’ of insanely interesting things to do after your kids go to bed… but my best guess is so she can live happily ever after with the husband.

If you ask me, the little psycho hasn’t really thought this one through very clearly. Get rid of the mother?! Who does she think will do the laundry? And the chauffering?? And bake all those cupcakes for the end of the year cake walk?? So far, the babysitter has the EASY gig.

And if this particular babysitter is anything like some of the ones *we’ve* had in the past… well, that husband had just better prepare himself to live in a household where the children refuse to go to bed at all, much less actually *sleep*, and where Play-doh just sits drying out in clumps on the kitchen table. I speak from experience on that one. I think putting away the Play-doh was one babysitter’s Kryptonite.

I guess it should have been a clue that the movie was on the Lifetime Movie Network. If it’s not ‘The Notebook’ playing on a seemingly endless loop, then it’s a movie about a woman who discovers that her husband has a double life, and is trying to have her killed. And all the while, she manages to look impeccable, even in the face of her uncertain future. Chinos, v-neck sweater, tasteful jewelry, and impossibly natural highlights only accentuate her haunted features. ;)

Out of curiosity, I flipped to the next hour’s programming to see what was on tap on good ol’ Lifetime… and, no joke, it was a movie called, “The Babysitter’s Seduction”. Yep… The. Babysitter’s. Seduction. (I couldn’t even make that up.)

So, that settles it… I can’t ever hire a live-in babysitter. Not that we have the cash flow for that kind of thing, anyway, but now it’s *really* not an option. I’d always be looking for signs that she wanted me dead so that she could drink my wine, and seduce my hottie husband.


Thanks for the ‘heads-up’, Lifetime.