Wednesday, January 14, 2009

This thing should come with a warning.

I’m sorry. I should have warned you. Yes, about that monkey picture. Isn’t it just the teensiest bit frightening? Maybe even a little horrifying?!

I had to take a picture since my scanner is still not working. And I HAD to take a picture. I’m not sure you would have believed me if I had just told you about this doll. (which by the way, is ‘not a toy. It is a fine collectible to be enjoyed by adult collectors.’)

The flyer came in the mail, mixed in with a bunch of other junk mail. It was in my front seat, and when I turned a corner, it slipped out from the rest of the mail, startling me with its scary little monkey face to the point that I just about had an accident. No WONDER I hate checking the mail so much!

Is that not just the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen? I wouldn’t even want to meet the kind of person that would order ‘Baby Jingles’. (‘Baby Scare the Ever-lovin’ Crap Outta Ya’ is more like it.) Check out that tongue. Who thinks these things up?!

Not only can you order this (from the Ashton-Drake Galleries… ooh, la, la!)… guess what? She’s got a bunch of little ugly monkey friends you can order, too! For only $29.99* each! (*payable in two payments of just $14.99)

And of course each little monkey has their own pair of shoes with tiny bells on them (why, you may be asking? Um… so you can hear them sneaking up on you in the middle of the night?!) and their own special little T-shirt with a delightful saying, like “Mommy’s Little Monkey” (see exhibit A)… of course we can’t forget “Daddy’s Little Monkey” (because Daddy deserves to be freaked out, as well!)… “Go Bananas!” (self-explanatory, I guess.)

…and my personal favorite: “No more jumping on the bed!” Awwww! C’mon, you know the ditty! Sing along…‘Momma called the doctor and the doctor said…’

“Refill Momma’s prescription! She’s got the credit card out to order from the Ashton-Drake Galleries again!”


Shanda Boatright said...

Yikes! Baby Jingles has got to go. Have you seen these?

I heard about them on my morning radio show and had to see it to believe it...there's a nut for ya!

Anonymous said...

Whatever. You KNOW that you're a munkayluvah! You ordered a dozen, right? :-)

Staci said...

OMG, Shanda... those are just horrifying. I think the weirdest thing of all, though, is the testimonial section!! Yes, I found myself reading them... each one just a little weirder than the last. *shudders*

Anonymous said...

Not quite sure if the flyer or the Angelbaby link disturbs me more...if only I had this information before the holidays;-)

Anonymous said...

I think baby jingles had too much to drink on New Year's Eve!

Wilson4 said...

Also, doesn't Jingles look a little "easy," to you, especially with the large BANANA posed between her hairy, scary little geriatric legs?

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