Utter Nonsense

Things I do that make no sense, but I do them anyway.


1. Secretly checking out what other people have in their grocery carts, and trying to envision the night they have planned.

“Hmm…Ice cream… a spatula…laxatives… Q-tips…”

(I am forgetting, of course, that in my own cart, I have a Hershey bar, guinea pig food, an air freshener, and 35 mm film.)

2. That weird little jog thing when I’m crossing a parking lot in front of a car. I’m not actually moving faster. I’m just pantomiming moving faster, but I still feel compelled to do it. So far, I haven’t been hit by a car. I’m still not sure, though, if I can attribute that to the ‘courtesy jog’.

3. Popping my contact in my mouth to rinse it off.
Gross? Yes. But, honestly, if you do not wear contacts, you simply *cannot* understand how a miniscule speck of dust in your eye can feel like someone is shoving a hot poker through your retina.
Oh, and Dr. Dave? You did NOT just read that whole thing about me putting my contact in my mouth. Because I don’t. Really.

4. Saying, ‘You, too!’ inappropriately.

Waiter: Here’s your dinner… enjoy!
Me: You too!
Waiter (under breath): Freak.

5. Chewing on plastic straws… more specifically, chewing on plastic straws until they are no longer round, but are square instead. It’s a sickness.

6. Fluffing the couch cushions at commercial breaks. Never mind that I sit right back down on them.

7. Starting off the night, laying in bed on my left side, when I know good and well that I will roll over to my right to actually fall asleep. Why not just start on the right? Not sure… I guess I feel like both sides need even wear.

8. Trying to read and pronounce signs backward as I am driving.
POTS! TEGRAT! REGRUBATAHW!

9. Blogging. ;)