Bizarre Foods

Have you seen the show called “Bizarre Foods” on the Travel Channel? It’s hosted by this chubby little bald-headed dude named Andrew Zimmern, and it basically is a show about him travelling all over the world, eating some pretty noxious crap. In the few shows we’ve watched, he’s eaten:

1. bats

2. guinea pigs (I know!! Now when the kids forget to feed our pets, I say, “Don’t make me have to call Andrew Zimmern…” kidding, people)

3. chicken uteruses (uteri?)

4. lots of testicles… I didn’t even know you could cook testicles in that many different ways. (I personally only have one really good recipe for testicles.)

5. eyeballs of various and sundry creatures

6. geoduck (pronounced ‘gooey duck’)

7. …and any of a host of completely disgusting things that I’d never be able to stomach.

Now it’s not that I’m a ‘food snob- I like peanut butter waaay too much to even begin to pretend to be hoity toity about food, but sometimes I can barely watch as he tries various ‘delicacies’ and favorites from a particular culture. He seriously must have an iron gut.

He also has a habit of describing the ‘deliciousness’ in layman’s terms… he really wants you to *feel* it, right along with him. For example, “Mmmm… that squid eyeball really just pops when you bite into it, kind of like a Spanish olive!”

Guess I won’t be finishing that martini, now.

The part that leaves me in a state of total awe, though, is how incredibly enthusiastic he is to try out the local fare of any country. And you can tell it’s not just because the Travel Channel is paying him the big bucks. I honestly think he’d do it for free. Give him a pickled cricket to eat, and he’ll pop that pickled cricket down his throat faster than you can say, “Jiminy!” ;)

You have to respect a guy like that… a man of the world… a man willing to step outside his comfort zone… a man that undoubtedly travels with an entire suitcase just for his Imodium A.D. and favorite brand of toilet paper. (You just can’t always get good toilet paper in third world countries, my friends.)

Andrew is never one to shy away from a new experience. Heck, he even made it down to Texas to sample a few of our own ‘bizarre’ foods. Yeehaw! Topping the list:

1. Fried Snickers bars & Fried Coca-Cola at the Texas State Fair… bizarre foods. Bizarre behavior and rituals, too, if it happens to be the same weekend as the Texas/ OU game.

2. Roasted javelina in South Texas. Num, num.

3. Goat (cabrito) in… um...shoot, I can’t remember… somewhere where they’re down with eating goat.

4. ‘Astronaut food’ at NASA… (Hey, aren’t those Dippin’ Dots?!! You can get those at the mall, Andrew…)

I wish I could say that it makes me want to try out a few bizarre foods. But it kind of grosses me out, in a “peeking through my fingers, tell me when it’s over, Phil!” kind of way. Tonight’s episode, for example, he was in Vietnam and was relishing an entire dinner of cobra. That's right, COBRA. Which, incidentally, tastes like chicken.

Some lip-smacking yummies that were featured:

1. The cobra’s heart (still beating, no less!)

2. Snake gall bladder cocktail (it would have to get me good and drunk on the first sip to finish out this meal)

3. Crushed, cooked snake’s bones on crackers (attention Ritz Crackers: your new selling point!)

4. Snake meat in spring rolls (according to Andrew, cobra meat is just PERFECT for spring rolls… who knew?)

5. Fried snake skin (“Tastes just like pork cracklin’.” I *told* you the guy has a way with words.)

Clearly, I’m not a world traveler. And I’m not as adventourous an eater as I thought I was before I saw this show (Thai & Indian food are about as ‘out there’ as I get.)

Guess if I ever win a trip to Vietnam on “The Price is Right’s Showcase Showdown”, I better pray that I win a case of peanut butter, too.