Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Eight years ago...

I admit it... I have a terrible memory for events in my past. Recently I have reconnected with a couple of friends from high school, and they'll tell me stories... "Don't you remember?!!" Um, no?!

However, I *do* have a couple of days that stand out with clarity in my mind. Just a few, mind you... and today happens to be one of those days. And with very good reason.

Exactly eight years ago today, I became a mother. Exactly eight years ago today, my life was altered beyond anything I ever could have imagined. Exactly eight years ago today, I came to understand what it means to love another person more than yourself.

I can remember almost everything about that day in 2000. Every mother has that labor and delivery story that she knows by heart and could recite in her sleep (heck, I have three such stories!) But I won't bore you with the details about my water breaking, or the epidural that wasn't working (God, help me!)

I remember everything in stark detail, and I remember EXACTLY what I said the moment I first laid eyes on my beautiful daughter. I said...

"Oh my God! It's a baby!" Seriously... um, hello?!!! Not sure what the heck I *thought* I was doing in that hospital?! So, yes... it was in fact, a baby, and in that instant, I would have given my life for that baby I'd only just caught a glimpse of.

The few days after she was born are a bit more of a blur, but I do remember holding my beautiful little girl, crying, and asking my husband, "What did I ever do good in my life that I deserve her?"

And so began this rollercoaster thrill ride of motherhood, with all its exhilarating, exhausting, (sometimes nausea inducing) loops, twists and twirls. The frustrations, the joys, the sticky hugs, and with still so much to look forward to.

So yes, I am a mother. Starting 8 years ago today. A moment in time that helps define who I am. Three beautiful kids and all the craziness that goes with them... And still I ask, "What did I ever do good in my life that I deserve this?"

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